Misha's Dating Profile
Smart, serious, principled 36 year old gay transsexual anarchist Jewish man in Brooklyn ISO queer man of roughly the same location and political disposition for chemistry, camp, and building a beautiful life together.
About me
Extroverted. Ambitious. Obsessive. Type A eldest daughter who learned to mix dirty martinis for her parents a little too young. Sharp but not prickly. I'm very organized and hold myself to very high standards. Aesthetics matter to me. I'm in therapy.
Quick facts
Raised in suburban Chicago and rural Colorado; lived in London and Glasgow; now in Brooklyn. Master's degree in International Relations Theory. Ex-hooker. Founder of four non-profits which actually helped people. Writer. Competent singer, guitarist, and cellist. Fluent in English and Yiddish; learning Palestinian Arabic, ASL, and liturgical Hebrew. Autistic as in attention to detail and a preference for straightforward communication. I come with a very gentle greyhound.
I'm short and thin: 5'2", 120lbs. Sometimes it's a mustache and sometimes it's a beard. I've been on hormones for much longer than the more famous trans people.
What kind of partner am I?
Loving but not clingy. I'll see the best in you and probably try to merge our skills and interests into a collaborative art-and-or-political project. I will enter the bar fight on your side without knowing whether you're right or wrong (we'll talk about it later), and I'll smooth talk the cops away. I can cook and I can dance. I'm friends with most of my exes.
Some things I love
Novelty. Theatre. The Thing (the film). Velvet and cashmere. City Lights (the film and the lights). Feeding people. Torah. Tiffany lamps. Hosting tea parties. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the film but not Texas). The botanic gardens. Berlin in the summer. New York in the fall. Cruising (the gay sex but not the film). Romance. Menswear. Men.
Political hashkafa
I'm an anarchist who loves building coalitions. I care more about you having the right values than using the right words. Direct action, non-hierarchical organizing, and solidarity are my guiding principles. I voted for Zohran (even though he's a bootlicker) but my community work doesn't revolve around the ballot box. I love discussing and debating ideas: how else are we supposed to find the truths? Strong and well-defended opinions are sexy. Adjusting your opinion to reflect new information, context, or perspectives is even sexier.
I've always been an antizionist (alhamd lilah) and my relationship to Judaism has very little to do with the state of Israel or my opposition to it. I can get along with your Zionist family and respectfully—or, if appropriate, disrespectfully—disagree with them.
Religious hashkafa
Orthodox atheist into trans halakha. My Judaism is serious and disciplined. I'm usually shomer shabos/yontif, I keep a kosher kitchen, and will eat kosher-style outside the home. I'm frum but not "spiritual" or a Hasid. I usually daven out of a Koren sidur. Mad about patriarchy but also the loss of homosocial davening in egal spaces. I'm ba'al tshuva and forever pursuing Jewish learning. Slutty but tsnius in middos. I set aside at least 10% of my income for tsedoke: right now it's for trans mutual aid and my friends in Gaza.
My ideal home
Art nouveau, arts & crafts, and mid-century modernism. We often host shabos dinners, celebrations and sex parties, alternating with our friends and always welcoming new faces. We have separate bedrooms or separate apartments. The kids are well-adjusted, multilingual, and funny. There's no TV. We use the good china.
My red flags
Manic pixie dream boy. Picky and overly opinionated but usually right. Stubborn. Vain. Intense. Antagonistic transliteration style (חנוכּה = Janice). Spent too much time in Europe. A bit sleazy. A ketamine habit. Delusions of grandeur. Divorcé. Daddy issues.
About you
You're a 30- or 40-something queer man who's smart, serious, and self-reflective. You already have trans friends. Your gender and sexuality are not Covid-era discoveries. You have kids, or want them. You're not jealous or monogamous: maybe you already have partners, but you're looking for something long-term and committed. You're generous but boundaried, sharing your time and money with your communities without unduly depleting your resources. You're playful but not a "gremlin" or a "little guy". You're a leftist with unshakable moral courage. You're a passionate debater who likes to argue for fun but talk calmly when it really matters. You're Jewish, or not; either way, you're not into woo. You're tidy. You get vaccinated every year. I think you're hot. You think I'm hot.
Bonus points
You're an artist. You sing. You cook and bake. You give great massages. You'll let me teach you Yiddish. You speak another language and will teach me. You're into the filthier aspects of queer culture. You've worked in food service. You know your clothing measurements. You have a skincare routine. You like camping. You love New York. You never describe yourself using astrology or Meyers-Briggs. You're kinky. You're a top. You're a rabbi.
Get in touch!
If you want to make this match or speak to my references, email me: moisheholleb@gmail.com; or text me on Signal: misha13.12