Bmidbar and Numbers / במדבר און נומערס

This is a weekly series

of parsha dvarim written by a frum, atheist, transsexual anarchist. It's crucial in these times that we resist the narrative that Zionism owns Judaism. Our texts are rich—sometimes opaque, but absolutely teeming with wisdom and fierce debate. It's the work of each generation to extricate meaning from our cultural and religious inheritance. I aim to offer comment which is true to the source material (i.e. doesn't invert or invent meaning to make us more comfortable) and uses Torah like a light to reflect on our modern times.

This parsha is an important piece of my parnosa (income), and the full dvar is paywalled for four weeks to help me sustain my work as a writer. But it's important to me that anyone can access Yiddishkeyt—if you can't afford to subscribe, email me and I'll send you the link for free.

An appeal

My friend Kamal needs help to leave Gaza. He is trying to immigrate to Greece to search for his missing son, who in desperation took a small and dangerous lifeboat across the Mediterranean. Please donate what you can.

Content note: Genocide in Palestine, misogyny and transphobia, the Holocaust

Not everyone counts.

We're beginning the fourth book of Torah. The English name is "Numbers" because it begins with a census, but the Hebrew name is "בדמדבר“ or "in the wilderness", which I prefer. We are one year into the exile. Yes, we're counting people—but the context is that we're wandering, we're insecure, and we're preparing for military defense.

Numbers aren't everything.

Misha leyening Bmidbar 1:2

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In this military census, we only count men capable of bearing arms. In total, the 12 houses number 603,550 fighting Jews. This number is repeated twice.

The Levites are excluded. They instead "take the place" of the first-born Jewish sons who belong to Hashem: a relationship consecrated when the first-born sons of Mitsrayim were killed. The Levites are also charged with carrying, tending to, and guarding the Mishkon in support of the Kohanim. Levite boys and men over the age of 1 month are recorded as being owned by Hashem: 22,000.

Torah counts the living fighters. In 2o23, (according to my former employer) there were 169,500 active duty IDF soldiers and 465,000 reserve personnel. Reuters reported that Hamas began the war with 20,000–25,000 fighters, has lost some 10,000 in casualties, and has since recruited an additional 10,000–15,000.

Finding reliable and consistent data is difficult, but the huge disparity in combatant and casualties is clear. If numbers alone mattered, Israel would have won long ago. That the war is protracted despite the asymmetry in military budget and personnel speaks to the impossible mission of "destroying" Hamas—essentially an ideology—and reminds me again of the Vietnam War.

How do we count the dead in Israel?

1,195 died on October 7 across kibbutzim, military bases, and the Nova music festival in the Gaza envelope. Some were combatants: IDF soldiers, Israeli police, and Shin Bet personnel. Most (815) were civilians—though it's difficult to call most Israeli citizens "civilians" when they have military conscription. Among those, 79 were foreign nationals and 36 were children. It is still unclear how many were killed by Hamas and other Palestinian fighters, and how many (at least 14) were killed by friendly fire. Since the war began (including on October 7) 854 IDF soldiers have been killed in Israel, Palestine, and Lebanon.

In addition to the dead, 215 people (some soldiers, some civilians) were taken as hostages, including 39 children. As of this month, 58 hostages remain in Gaza, 24 of whom are maybe still living. Hamas released 5 hostages outwith a ceasefire agreement; 8 were rescued by the IDF. But the single most effective tactic for securing the return of living hostages are the ceasefires in 2023 (105 hostages returned) and 2025 (30 returned). At least 6 hostages—and likely many more—have been directly killed by the IDF. With this information, we can calculate that 43 hostages have died or are unaccounted for.

How do we count the dead in Palestine?

Since October 7, the official death toll says that at least 54,056 Palestinians have been confirmed killed in Gaza and the West Bank, the majority of them children. The Lancet reported that the true number is likely much higher, estimating up to 186,000 "or even more" dead as of June 2024, killed from bombing, shooting, collapsing buildings, injury, hunger, and disease. UNICEF counts 50,000 children dead or injured; 1,309 of those since Israel broke the ceasefire on 18 March. "Hundreds" of families have been entirely wiped off the civil registry, meaning there is no surviving member.

Some people dispute the numbers, claiming that the Gaza health ministry is not reliable and does not distinguish between civilians and combatants (to which I counter: neither do IDF guns and bombs). But no one reasonable argues that there is symmetry between the dead. The estimated numbers of dead, for comparison: about 1,802 Israelis (and others in Israel) and anywhere between 54,056–186,000+ in Palestine.

Dead Jews count more than the living.

6.5 million Jews died in the Holocaust. That number is important to us. It gets invoked today as though we haven't killed enough Palestinians yet—as though we can keep murdering them until we reach this magic number. Palestine is paying for Europe's crimes.