Bō and Trans men wrapping tefilin / בא און טראַנסע מענער ליגן תּפֿלין

This is a weekly series

of frum, trans, anarchist parsha dvarim. It's crucial in these times that we resist the narrative that Zionism owns or, worse, is Judaism. Our texts are rich—sometimes opaque, but absolutely teeming with wisdom and fierce debate. It's the work of each generation to extricate meaning from our cultural and religious inheritance. I aim to offer comment which is true to the source material (i.e. doesn't invert or invent meaning to make it more comfortable) and uses Torah like a light to reflect on our modern times.

Content note

Transphobia

An appeal

My friend Areej and her family have finally been allowed to return home in Central Gaza after living in an IDP camp tent for months, but their house was partially destroyed by the bombing. If you can donate even $5, please do. May this be the start of a lasting and meaningful peace as we all rebuild and move toward a free Palestine.

The final three plagues strike Mitsrayim: locusts, darkness, and death of the firstborns. Hashem hardens Paroy's heart so that he refuses to let the Israelites go until after the death of his own son. The parsha ends with two commandments to remember this devastating miracle:

The Rabbis interpret these as commandments to wear tefilin, and this is the first time it's mentioned (the second being in Dvarim). This is a time-bound positive mitsve; therefore only adult Jewish men are obligated according to halakha.

I love tefilin. The strange and mystical boxes that, as far as I can see, have nothing to do with the exodus. The ritual of repeating the same brukhas every morning. The black leather wrapped tight against my skin—tight enough that I'm out of my head and snapped back into my body, grounded, held. It's a meditative practice. It's also undeniably erotic.

But who counts as a man? Some Orthodox Rabbis poskim that halakhik gender is determined at birth, and cannot be changed; there is very much an element of biological determinism. Others concede that the issue of trans people is, as of yet, halakhikally unclear.

I apparently count as a man as long as I keep my mouth shut, which is difficult for me. I'm uninterested in closets but I also desperately want to be part of homosocial frum life, which requires being stealth. I can manage it for a few months at best.

On issues of halakhik uncertainty—where you might be obligated in or prohibited from performing a mitsve—is it better to do it, or to abstain? My uneducated opinion is that it's better to err on the side of dignity. Let trans men wrap!